Friday, 4 September 2009

Memo to Faron Hall: Cut if out. You're making the rest of us look bad.

4 September 2009

To: Faron Hall

From: mrchristian

Re: Life Saving Attempt Number 3

Faron. Buddy. I see that you've been at it yet again. This time jumping into the murky river in an attempt to save TWO people from drowning. I, too, feel bad that one of them didn't make it.

You know, for decades we've had this ying and yang relationship going on. You wanted to be left alone and we happily obliged by completely ignoring you. Well, aside from the snide remarks of some passers-by and surely being the butt of the odd 'drunken injin' joke.

That relationship got skewed the first time you saved someone's life.

The blogging community, including myself, blogged about it. The mayor had probably as many press conferences for you as he has had for the $500m rapid transit scheme. You got Goldeye season tickets and a nifty jacket. Suburbanite newspaper columnists tracked you down like a stray dog, praised you and shat on you at the same time. The national media was abuzz.

Now that you've gone and done it again, well, you're just making the rest of us look bad.

Risking one's life in an attempt to save another is pretty much a sacred act. Most countries reserve their highest honours - whether in peacetime or war - to recognize it. You can't just be going around willy-nilly doing this. You're rewriting this relationship again.

I'm not sure what exacly we can do this time ? You could really ask anything of us yet you seem to have all you want. We can probably get you tickets for next year's Goldeyes season ? We don't have a comic book aboriginal superhero, that I know of, maybe you can hang out with Captain Canuck for a while ?

I'm sure you'll let us know what we can do, if anything.

But seriosly, cut out this superhero stuff for a while.

1 comment:

Fat Arse said...

Excellent post- a departure from your normal textual tenor I think it captures my sentiments exactly.

Well done.

Mr. Hall's efforts kinda makes my braving my forced and obligatory long-weekend trip to the Home Despot, etc., petty in comparison. Hmm, ... maybe I'll try to do something more significant this weekend than swipe plastic for paint and lawn ornaments?